What a difference 6 years makes

6 years ago when I was pregnant with Lowery I LOVED every minute of it. That constant reminder throughout my day when she moved that there was life growing inside of me. I missed that feeling after she was born, our secret little times together where she would kick and no one else would know. Everyone around me was going about the normal lives - but I had this precious little baby that was all mine. I had never experienced heartburn, I was blissfully unaware of the dangers of high blood pressure and just loved being pregnant.

Fast forward 6 years and how different things are. Still as thankful and in awe of the miracle of life. Less enthused about the swift kicks to my bladder (sorry if any guys are reading this). The heartburn that I swear will send me to my grave, my hips creaking like my 93 year old grandmother, the fatigue that I can't quite overcome most days, and the medicine I have to take every day now that I am very aware of blood pressure concerns. It's so different, these pregnancies. It's odd - in the first one, my life was literally in danger and I was critically ill and I really didn't even know it. Yet I felt fine. But on this one, my health is great, everything is in check and going beautifully. Yet I feel like I'm on my deathbed.

So, if you want my opinion (most of you don't but I'll give it anyway), having a baby at age 34 is FOR THE BIRDS. All of these women in your 40's, having great pregnancies and loving life, I admire you. I'm simply not cut out for it. I know God's timing is perfect and I wouldn't have things any other way, but I am praying for him to get me through these next 14 weeks. I don't want to complain because I'm so thankful for this girl, but taking torture on a daily basis is something that's hard to keep quiet about. On the positive side, the technology advancements are amazing and we have enjoyed being able to see Elle clearly and more frequently than we were able to with Lowery.

One thing that's definitely the same though - the love I have for this baby. I look at Lowery's little face and I don't know how my heart will hold more love - but it already does. A couple of weeks ago we got to see our new little girl's face pretty clearly. And her precious hands, feet and whole body. Yes, she's still a little skinny, but I think she's adorable. Here's to the sweetheart that's making my life pretty miserable these days, but whom I already love more than words can say. When I hold her it will be worth it all! Take a look at these 3-D pics!!